Secrets for sale

I was walking down the street by the rich ones who sat against the walls calling out for help from the poor. They have all the money but not happiness.

Money is not the boss anymore. Our new trades are happiness doses … Happiness had this smell … It is different from a person to another. Some people can’t even smell it. To me it smells like a mix of my mother’s perfume, baby powder and coffee beans.

My dealer is here selling identities for 2500 doses. I needed a new one because I’m addicted to the adrenaline that comes along with the new life. I’m so curious for every identity comes with its memories and secrets.
Keeping those identities on market helps us all to keep being alive, it’s moral if you ask me.

“Have any more to sell?”
“Yes, I’m almost out. I have the last one for today.”
“How much?”
“This one … You can have it for free. I’m glad to get rid of it! Here!”

Why for free … The identity dealer gets affected by the identities he carries. I’ll see what this is about then I’m going to trade it for happy doses.

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Master of violence

Pain mingled with my soul and they became familiar with each other. My soul got addicted to the stings and the pain found a friend in me. I was locked in for nineteen years, tortured, humiliated and abused.

The damp corners and dry wrists were the reality I couldn’t escape. I lost the will to dream about getting out. My cold sweat was burning from my hot skin that is harmed and bruised.

I was only able to sleep when I’m ordered, I ate what I was given. I woke up not knowing what time of the day it was, or if it was daytime even. I wouldn’t know. I lost control along with hope and I became full of fears.

The need to control and be controlled, the need to give in and take over. I have my needs but they include my free will. To be prisoned in there for time that I lost the sense of it was the psychological pain, that and the sound of the beating, the chains and the whips.

The plaints filled that lonely place, I was in there … I was in there … My heart wanted to quit on me most of the time. I couldn’t breathe when I broke and I couldn’t do a thing to get my freedom or to prevent those rosy flesh marks.

Till I was finally released to the outer world … That was after almost two decades of my life, gone and wasted. Not knowing that I was trained to be one of them. I got it all out, the suppression. It was my turn to control and take over. My freedom came with a new identity and secretiveness.

No part of me shall be locked in anymore. I shall see the light and the light shall see me but it will never break through my dark side whom I fear the most. Love and punishment are two separated matters. However, the joy that rushes in my veins like a drug makes me feel like a lion toying with a deer between his claws.

Beg me for mercy, get out of my way, don’t look me in the eyes and don’t speak because I only want to hear my own steps feeding fears inside you and the thumbing of your confused heart. To see that fragile stare, to look at you shudder and to feel you near my feet where you should be, where you belong, where I have been.

Not knowing how much time I have left, I have to make the best of it. For the fun,the pain that comes with crawling pleasure and for the burning desire to put them through the poisonous experience. Here’s to taming, domestication and the urge to corrupt the submissive innocents.