Depth of Free will … to give up or walk towards fate?

People screaming at my direction … “Stop”!
“You will drop ..You will fall” then eyes stare
… No … Let it flow … Despair for inspiration..
Thoughts cross over but will I ? Fears shaking

Trembling with huge feet on thin sharp doom
It’s cutting through but we will make it through
walk towards death guided to an unknown mob
Hell beneath burning filthy baby steps “give up”!

Balance doesn’t exist, blindfolded & Mad Noises
Block them out to let in whispers of wealthy lips
Sensing hair which stand to salute to begin to end
Desires climbing out of its throat to choke me dead

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My first accidental experience in … I don’t really know

I knew that I was dreaming so I turned a whole circle around myself. The dream seemed to pull away like wind pulls sand or it was more like it was sucked into a black hole cell by cell.

I tried not to get sucked along with the scene so I firmly tried to stand still on the ground holding on like a tree in the storm. The scene changed around me and it is a dark wet castle with rooms, chambers and dungeons. Everything looked old and rusty but familiar.

I was able to control my surroundings and started to explore the castle with a person whom I have met in the dream. I wanted to fly so I commanded my mind to open a locked window and I flew out with a black cape above the river.

Small fears kept creeping into my dream but I was successful to remove them with a sign of my hand. It was more of a warning of something bigger to come. I finally landed and I saw a scary magician who was waiting for me to warn me but then he took off.

I went back to the castle to explore it more. I went into the rooms one by one to reveal their hidden stories until I came across a prison in a circular form with bars of steel locking in an old witch … She looks older than before.

I have always dreamt of her choking me when I was little and crushing my ribs with her tomb hugs. As a child I only had two dreams … One is about her and the other about a beast named the java and it always continued from where it stopped until I finally flew across hell gates and he fell and got trapped … But I have never got rid of her.

She is still living in the corners of my mind locked up but who knows till when … She interrupted my thoughts with a laugh that made her look like a crazy woman. Embracing the mould on the bars and the wrinkles on her hands made her look somehow blind to me. The smell was choking me instead.

I panicked and started to have small heart attacks so I tried to take the key that was on the table as if I was trying to catch my soul from being drifted away or trying to catch a beat more … To catch my breath. I gave the key to the stranger whom I was with and told him to keep it and that we will meet again. It was the key to the worst fear that haunted me my whole life and I entrusted a stranger to guard it.

Suddenly I saw myself in two places, I saw my body sleeping restfully but my back was stuck to the ceiling like a magnet. Watching myself from a birds view was strange but I finally got able to enter my body to only wake up paranoid and scared.

I felt earthquakes in my head and I tried to use the phone but when I called I heard a strong vibration that blocked my voice. My temperature is hot and I am freaked out by the electricity shocks that I felt along with my racing heart.

Perhaps it was the attempt of opening my third eye … All I did was looking in my mirror and focusing on its place. I imagined a closed eye opening and When it did open I looked inside and a strong voice called my name inside my head. I felt like I have been found after being lost but I was filled with doubts and fears so I have never looked inside again.

The voices in my head

Closing my ears won’t help losing those loathsome voices, their laughs and ugly prayers only got louder. One day I invited them on a feast of children and sat them down on a round silver table … They all came waiting to eat, looking at me with their bulging eyes and crooked smiles. I locked the doors and white weapons were hiding in my cupboard, I opened it wide and I saw the fear in their eyes, they screamed in horror and it was pleasure to my eyes.

I brought out an axe and slaughtered them like little lamps and I did all of the nasty things they wanted me to do before. In the end, I cut them in pieces and piled their repellent parts and ripped out guts on the red table and I sat them on fire, they were the candles that lit my dinner. Mmmm spine-chilling. I am happy to say that I have never heard more than four voices again.