Depth of Free will … to give up or walk towards fate?

People screaming at my direction … “Stop”!
“You will drop ..You will fall” then eyes stare
… No … Let it flow … Despair for inspiration..
Thoughts cross over but will I ? Fears shaking

Trembling with huge feet on thin sharp doom
It’s cutting through but we will make it through
walk towards death guided to an unknown mob
Hell beneath burning filthy baby steps “give up”!

Balance doesn’t exist, blindfolded & Mad Noises
Block them out to let in whispers of wealthy lips
Sensing hair which stand to salute to begin to end
Desires climbing out of its throat to choke me dead

A servant who longed for freedom for so long

It was an exotic egg … Its shell is a gargantuan crimson gemstone, a very red ruby decorated with deep lines of gold and vivid emerald jewels. It sat peacefully between the burning flames, so precious and heavy. I was tempted with its beauty and mystery … What is inside? I want to see it crack in front of my eyes to please them like those wild nights I have.

I was hired personally by Lucifer himself and well I was the best thief in my country, no one has ever managed to overcome my brilliant schemes or even think like I do. I am proud to be chosen as one of his followers. Loyalty however is out of question, you can’t expect a thief to be loyal.

My master was proud enough to put me as his right hand to manage things in his castle which is located in the Bermuda Triangle. Ships of strong men have came to that forbidden area but have been concealed by the soldiers for they have not gained permission to pass. Sympathy was not an option and they all got killed except for those who can come in handy to spread evil.

I was lucky enough to survive between those thousands of dead men. It was my sinful hands that saved me from being dead. My job was exciting for I had the chance to be invisible and sweet talk in the ears of people who are tempted to steal and I have not participated in their awful crimes but I have suggested a few ideas and plans for them to follow. They had their option and free will so it is not I who must take the blame.

For every accomplishment I get rewarded with more wealth to carry and women. All I had ever wanted to have was that egg which was as crimson as my deeds and days, it was crimson like the blood boiling in my crimson heart. Those black and maroon flames of fire which I see are reflecting in my eyes for they hold all of my desires within its hot filthy embraces.

I am a weak human and a desperate one who is unworthy of trust. I betrayed the demon who took me in to raise me as his own son. I took place as a royal guard and he sat me next to him and gave me the honour of holding his sword. He spoke to me as a part of him which he is proud of and about me as an example to follow.

My best friend is a demon who can be summoned by the playing of any normal flute but there were specific notes to hit. That’s why songs are forbidden in the books of religion, each instrument is capable of calling in a demon. Their names were sounds of music. Some songs play those notes in your head to make this specific demon follow you around and fill your head with what it has as a duty.

This best friend had no good qualities about him. Not a single stroke of goodness has ever touched his heart. I’m not even sure he has one. I’m in love with his captivating sister though, she’s a mischievous siren who dances in human parties disguised to seduce and clutch men’s hearts to commit adultery.

I thought I have seen it all and lived it all but I yearned for that egg, the curiosity took away my sleep and occupied my thoughts leaving no place for new plans. I’m disappointing my master and colleagues these days too much and I might have been thrown to die if he hadn’t clutched to my days of glory in the stories he tells about my accomplishments and betrayal to my own kind.

I served in that place for a long time, I stopped counting a long time ago. I have an opportunity to escape every year yet I never take it. I’m too afraid to face my god and what I have done with my time. I don’t just carry my sins but also the sins of the many whom I have charmed. I’m taking my chances this year. They get locked up for a month, that special month of the year.

That month when they don’t do their duties, humans still sin. It is only a proof that you have to blame it on yourself. That month is my vacation where I spend it freely in some cold country until it finishes. When I have to return I touch my necklace which has the power to carry me from anywhere to anywhere in a blink and gets me recognised as one of them.

The necklace is gold, it has a thick chain with an eye as the symbol. The eye is hollow surrounded by diamonds and one is purposely missing and a hole is placed instead. The pupil has three circles of different hues of blue. The deepest one is the darkest and the most intense then surrounded by the colour of the sea then the colour of the sky. The pupil was alive, it was real fire that I carry on my neck.

I wore it with questions and acceptance. What is it really for? Is he watching me through that eye? What happens if I ever take it off? I sold my soul and I am a slave … To whom exactly? Could it be to the owner of this eye? Am I following Lucifer or the one eyed man who lives in the trapped island under the Bermuda Triangle along with that strange looking hairy creature?

The month is coming, my curiosity will end.

My self

I sat there in a garden of heaven trying to summon my inner self to ask her things, to look up to her light and beauty. There were birds of white pearls, falling rivers of flowers, the sky was clear blue; a peaceful reflection of everything was displayed on this pure angelic sky and great waterfall poured from a single cloud and it turns to life giving light. I admired it all and I waited for her. I see a figure coming from a distance … Behind clarity extends mystery. As I hear calming flowing rivers my blood boils of curiosity.
Here she comes! The goddess of beauty and innocence …

What is that sound? What is going on? The earth is shaking! The light is fading, the sky is breaking, the water turns to lava and my garden is on fire! … My inner self, my higher self … Where is she? She is turning! Her hair is red, her skin is black stone and her face is … Why … She is the devil! I have been deceived. Thick black rain is dripping from the sky and darkness came over forcing me to face my demon … A battle is here to be and one will kill the other.

I’m a human too

You think I’m mad? I have to go through hell back and forth, a beast within a man, a man within a beast. The hair, the itching, the twitching, the new skin, the fingers curling … You think you know how to feel like Gregor Samsa? I’m sure not Gregor but I can relate! The great rise in temperature, I’m not sick but I am.

To where I run, to whom? I can’t but run into my unfortunate victims, they can’t run either. I have this effect on them, where they freeze … I’m sure it’s my irresistible charm and that smile of mine. Darkness is my only friend; where I live. A part of me is the shadows of the night.

I can’t hide from what I am and they can’t hide either. My hunger for human flesh doesn’t make me inhuman, my needs and imperfections are enough proof to my humanity. I show my inner beast and you hide yours but it doesn’t make you better, you hypocrites.