My first accidental experience in … I don’t really know

I knew that I was dreaming so I turned a whole circle around myself. The dream seemed to pull away like wind pulls sand or it was more like it was sucked into a black hole cell by cell.

I tried not to get sucked along with the scene so I firmly tried to stand still on the ground holding on like a tree in the storm. The scene changed around me and it is a dark wet castle with rooms, chambers and dungeons. Everything looked old and rusty but familiar.

I was able to control my surroundings and started to explore the castle with a person whom I have met in the dream. I wanted to fly so I commanded my mind to open a locked window and I flew out with a black cape above the river.

Small fears kept creeping into my dream but I was successful to remove them with a sign of my hand. It was more of a warning of something bigger to come. I finally landed and I saw a scary magician who was waiting for me to warn me but then he took off.

I went back to the castle to explore it more. I went into the rooms one by one to reveal their hidden stories until I came across a prison in a circular form with bars of steel locking in an old witch … She looks older than before.

I have always dreamt of her choking me when I was little and crushing my ribs with her tomb hugs. As a child I only had two dreams … One is about her and the other about a beast named the java and it always continued from where it stopped until I finally flew across hell gates and he fell and got trapped … But I have never got rid of her.

She is still living in the corners of my mind locked up but who knows till when … She interrupted my thoughts with a laugh that made her look like a crazy woman. Embracing the mould on the bars and the wrinkles on her hands made her look somehow blind to me. The smell was choking me instead.

I panicked and started to have small heart attacks so I tried to take the key that was on the table as if I was trying to catch my soul from being drifted away or trying to catch a beat more … To catch my breath. I gave the key to the stranger whom I was with and told him to keep it and that we will meet again. It was the key to the worst fear that haunted me my whole life and I entrusted a stranger to guard it.

Suddenly I saw myself in two places, I saw my body sleeping restfully but my back was stuck to the ceiling like a magnet. Watching myself from a birds view was strange but I finally got able to enter my body to only wake up paranoid and scared.

I felt earthquakes in my head and I tried to use the phone but when I called I heard a strong vibration that blocked my voice. My temperature is hot and I am freaked out by the electricity shocks that I felt along with my racing heart.

Perhaps it was the attempt of opening my third eye … All I did was looking in my mirror and focusing on its place. I imagined a closed eye opening and When it did open I looked inside and a strong voice called my name inside my head. I felt like I have been found after being lost but I was filled with doubts and fears so I have never looked inside again.

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Sand castle

My mother, who is obsessed with order, told me today -“Stop building castles from sand, it will only create waves of rage and drown you.” Dying inhaling my dreams sounds like a good escape to me. I built my castles of sand and it will not break, but fly with the wind and settle everywhere chaotically like petals do when seasons change.

I want my dreams to be everywhere and out of order. I’d rather drown in my beautiful dreams than to be choked with the bare hands of reality; the serial killer of love and fantasy. It is the air in this sick world that is suffocating, I’d rather drown my head in emotions which are carried under those overwhelming waves of rage.