Words and numbers

They kept shouting about money, properties, debts and the house. They want space, both of them. More space to need but with no money to have. He kept blowing in his hands as if that warm air would give him a better shelter. “I can’t think!” He screamed. “I can’t go backwards!” She said. They both argued about their opposite logical opinions on how to live better.

They started screaming with high pitched voices and flying spits and their voices became so distracting that it became impossible to separate them and tell which was which. Then without listening to each other they continued staring in each other’s faces with red angry eyes, knitted eyebrows and wrinkled foreheads. It was quiet like the silence after the storm but the hate was shouting through their faces with anger.

When the eye staring competition was over they switched their ill-mannered language to the language of numbers that I hate the most. Fed up, I sit there invisible and afraid to make a move and bring the attention to me. No expressions were made on that poker face of mine and no word would dare to expose herself out in the open.

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I want to feel …

How did I turn out to be like that? Like this … I don’t know me anymore, I’m looking at the mirror and I see my demon staring back at me.

I lost my feelings, so I began to borrow some from others. I became addicted, I even started to appreciate fear experiences. I have literally felt everything and there is nothing much left to steal.

I tried to escape but now I have to live with it. I ripped people’s feelings out and now they have nothing inside, just like me. They became monsters too but I haven’t left them with much to feed on. Now what? I need to feel human again, even if that means that I have to do inhuman things.

I didn’t choose to be me but I can stop being me, would you let me see life through your eyes? To feel what you felt … Anger, fear, sorrow, love and all? Leave me but don’t leave me in hunger! If you were me, what would you choose? Starvation or salivation?