I was … I am

In that cold white room I thought … “I remember this place.” Is it sad or funny that I look up to my younger self? In that time I feared none but one and now I am afraid of the endless possibilities. I lived in the house of fear where I got bruised and where I couldn’t feel safe or belong yet I stood tall. I lived with illness and I was the cure who worried about death.

I tried to run away from my own life but I’m still here trying to keep up. The younger me is much braver than I. If only she were here to guide me through. Five cups, who are nine years old today, are my only childhood friends who are left. I look at them as I grow bitter and think … Where have you gone? I’m lost without you.

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